Sunday, March 29, 2009

epic fail trying to find someone to talk to.
reading but currently at these depression chapters.
thinking about everything, thats just so emotion-killing.
i think i should just sleep.

and hope i'll wake up.




i hate this. my entire body feels so damn heavy. and i cant concentrate, twirling feeling in my head. dont even know how i survived taking a shower moments ago. and its so irritating typing, my fingers aint responding correctly. especially my left hand.

many things have been happening and my body seems to be getting weaker, maybe cause im denying too much sleep hahah. this feels terrible.


i feel like i dont have much time left.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

jeez.
feeling so weak. i'll blog some other time (:

Friday, March 27, 2009

nowonder ive been feeling so tired and weak lately. sucks to have a fever jeez!

bad headache now .

Thursday, March 26, 2009

eh jeez when im doing something i like, it seems like i can just go on forever. felt like reading chapter 1 (which is also the top few chapters i like) of ichigo100% again and in the end i continued reading 27 straight chapters. taking a break after one of the last few pages loaded slow and thoughts were pouring through my mind and the background song played..
its nice to know that you were there
thanks for acting like you cared
making me feel like i was the only one

all of the memories so close to me,
just fade awayy

im thinking too much
of memories i should have forgotten.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

recently i've came across and been reading and have so far finished 2 volumes of a particular manga by the name of No Bra. yet again stumbled on a love story about a guy entwined between different girls.

the story is funny, the events when he gets put into stupid situations, the effect of others trying to "build the perfect couple" and just the events of school and such. i like reading love stories, cause its just .. so .. lovely? okay retarded. but i also hate them in a way, makes me think too much, especially those suspense moments when something big happens.


right now, i feel like reading Ichigo100% all over again.
the first time i read it, i finished all 167 chapters in one go, taking a total of 3 days and 2 nights without sleep. but i liked it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

went t subway t eat dinner with mark and syahmi, was late but not later than syahmi. i ate super super slow hahah! stupid ulcer-like infection thing super irritating. anyway after eating we went walking around north point

kinda boring, then we walked t th old north point's popular. on the way there, we met wenxuan! our 4 year school mate! then at popular, our 4 year classmate, omella. seriously, whether its her hair or her clothes or just the viewing angle, she looked uglier than the image i remembered. or maybe its just the contrast between her and the image already in my mind for today made her look uglier hahah.

whatever




i think i'm retarded, early in the morning when i fetch my sis to school, i was wondering, wheres my keys? went around th entire house, then searching my pockets again .. yeah its there ..

went to school, and found out that its the wrong date. was like waiting outside my classroom and .. nothing! went down to check at the general office there and .. i met Caroli on the way!! ((: omg its been so long since i last saw her!! she looks prettier (:

anyway i went up again, then went down and saw michelle, as predicted she'd be late HAH!
4am this morning she said "my parents will wake me up at 7am"
just now she said "my parents woke me up but i went back to sleep after that"
thats so retarded



rolly theres still 80 points to score! chill (:




2 days late HAHAH!

its like, saturday come back is already sunday morning, and was too tired. then spent half of th day sleeping, other half chatting and slacking and playing and whatever

and now, finally i remember to blog!


so anyway, saturday was OTC/W Refresh2! met up with erwin, candice and kieth @ bedok interchange and tried waiting for michelle. she was still asleep.. so while we eat, hungry cause no breakfast, i was like pressing retry while enjoying my chicken rice.

so anyway, making it there, it was so hot! some games and blah then moving to our first station.. oh before that, why cant it be at sentosa? maybe too loud, but its way better!(continued later) and our first station is the last station, situated far far away at the sandcastle(we are near macs).

we backtracked to second station, at some tidebreaker where brandon and kahyuen is. climbing up was abit retarded, 2 girls infront struggling jeez. but it was kinda fun, writing down our goals and shouting out to the sea. grace called before we started, told her where we are, and i called her after we finished, she still havent reach.

next is near the ski park, this time i called again to tell here where we are, this station was SUPER fast and we went on to our 4th station, calling her again and telling her where we are.

4th station, turtle pond there, rinku was still here and so needed t wait, taking a break while at it, call grace and tell her where we are, watching rinku do the station. halfway tru our break, janice and xiuzhen walked by, they were going t work, so i just quickly followed them. unknownlingly amanda also going off, so chat on th way (:

met cheryl on the way, walk t 7-11, it started to rain, and amanda went a different path already, then rebecca finally reach. bought drink while they bought instant noodles and eat outside macs.

hmm .. getting a taxi was retarded lol! its raining heavily, theres only 1 umbrella, and seriously no taxi at all =.= there was one, only to be ks-ed by a group infront. then we tried calling, only to get the holding tone .. damn cab. anyway later on xiuzhen they all got a cab, negotiated for the 5 of us to get on, and its like 2 on the cab, 2 under umbrella and im just standing there "taking a shower" lol. it was freezing cold on the cab.

reaching sentosa, WHY DIDDNT THEY CHOOSE HERE? THE WEATHER WAS PERFECT! as in that its not raining and its not scorching hot. since i was super wet, had t take a shower. super retarded, trying to wash everything off without shampoo, spamming the water like crazy only. then drying up, using the toilet paper there t dry my hair lol. i sure took my time (: even to style my hair!

when i got out, for the first time i actually worried that they've gone off already, but nah. when xiuzhen came out she said "omg you waited for us? how long did you wait? sorry!" something like that, the actual fact is that ive only waited for less than 5 minutes hahah! going up, getting ready, briefing and stuff, i was partnered with a newbie, soonheng's friend, and seriously im not feeling well. felt like puking during refresh2 already, and by then, i was feeling quite weak, shaky hands hahah.

survived the entire thing! with the help of jereld, soonheng, ben and my partner of course. lol she was like damn worried coz at a point my hands were shaking like .. crazy! that was carrying glasses on my hand. tried t carry the oval tray only in an epic fail coz my spinal node hurt too much, halfway tru at the exit there soonheng helped me carry it, saved!! (: and later on, i smartly avoided most of the heavy work and stuff (:

getting home, waiting t get money, cab as usual i get off last, the usual macs supper, getting home stoning and trying to remember that i actually wanted to blog but when i do, i felt so tired that i just slept instantly.



right now, my body is aching and my lip is .. omg disgusting, the infection looks kinda bad.

i wonder how wrong has my body gone..

Friday, March 20, 2009

omg dizzy, more frequent headaches too.

played Left 4 Dead @ dhoby today with mark, was bored coz there was only th 2 of us, daryl called in sick(prolly coz pq is in japan), syahmi pangseh as usual, jas went out with her friend, mark's friend chloe diddnt come for some forgotten reason.

anyway i rock (: spammer hahah! double pistol + sniper rifle = pure ownage (: it was fun, except for the freaquent headaches from the dark places. (when your brain is trying to build a mental image of a very dark place and find links, the brain overloads due to the lack of possible visual signs and causes headaches) it was so irritating.

oh the first thing that happened at the lan shop, i logged into facebook and found this tag by kerensa: I'm 112% Retarded OMG........... NOT POSSIBLE. :( /wrist -emo-
seriously i was LOL-ing hard at the lan shop .. OMG LA she broke 100%!!


i just noticed, the birthday we celebrate the most is peiqi's, since 2 years ago.
2007: we went ice skating, had cake and song done at coffeshop and eat dinner too, kbox till late
2008: played at sembawang park, first meetup/outing since graduation, dinner at pizza hut
2009: ?? plans: bbq at mark's house, play at the pool, facecake pq? we'll see about it.



walked around plaza sing before going back, multiple flashbacks, memories.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

seriously i need t do something, but i dont know what, about my headaches.

its disrupting my everyday life! i cant think properly with these headaches. its like, right now im pausing every now and then to think of what i wanted to type. and, just now i actually paused for like 10 seconds thinking whats my blogger account, then pausing another moment thinking whats my password.. jeez!

life's been boring, rotting at home. cant think well still, my brain feels numb! yes, you can try it, whats that feeling inside your skull, your brain! mine feels numb, whats yours ?

ive been checking, why does people visit my blog ? random people come by my blog using google search, mostly searching for Kerensa Chew o.o! and some actually visted cause if Toh JinYe. seriously what kinda perverts google for girls' name and visit blogs for that? bloody STALKERS.

its so cold recently, runny nose for like .. unknown days. i miss alot of people ):

Friday, March 13, 2009

okay i'm a slacker! its like. come back slack and diddnt blog more than 2 lines before i got distracted and in th end played gunbound till like 10am o.o

so anyway, i watched Dragonball Evolution!
the movie was quite average, the plot was not properly explained, giving people with absolutely no idea without previously knowing the series. the graphical effects were below average, cool but very messy. the character development was rather retarded, goku suddenly becomes extremely strong, enough to overpower lord picolo easily, and picolo, being able to shoot out the energy bolts so easily, actually seemed to have quite a difficulty doing earlier. but i think the movie would make guys rather high, the camera angle always focuses on the cleavage of the female actors, just watch, its like all of them show some cleavage. especially the last scene, the camera angle obviously shows that fact.
but cause i like Dragonball, THE MOVIE IS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


i'm so lazy t upload photos.


anyway for that day, i wasnt really feeling well, headaches started since the morning, by nightfall i was feeling very weak already like today, which i actually slept alot. jeez. that was kinda the reason why i kept eating, but felt like puking after dinner, if i dont eat i'll feel even dizzier.

went to school for nothing, met jon like 1 hr later than meeting time, we were both late. wanted to submit review for our scripts but we had t pay for it. so just forget it hahah. anyway later i met apple late, very. went to cine buy tickets first then i got lost in orchard hahah! too long since ive last been there i think. its like, "where far east?" i kow its somewhere nearer t orchard mrt, but forgot where.

apple is such a shopaholic. goes into a shop and finds liking in so many things, in the end she bought 2 sets of tops, which cost her like 50 bucks. and that was cause she couldnt decide which one she liked more, so she bought both =.= andand it was so retarded yesterday, that i actually waited in the shop like full of female clothing and girls and i'm standing right outside th fitting room and waiting for her to slowly try the 2 sets of clothing. seriously felt very retarded.

yesterday, we met ALOT of people we know from somewhere. at far east, marc's girlfriend suying or something was there, from far east t cine, geraldine(amara) was walking on th opposite direction and its like first time see her outside too. at cine we met, eugene and lingyu or something, they also watching movie, coming soon(which apple thought the movie was coming soon, as in relation to time, not title) at a time slot just 30 mins after ours start. there was brandon from nbss, apple's friend whom we met at cine too, my psychology classmate was behind us when we walked out from the cine hall, i cant remember his name anyway. then erm some tp girl, whom one of them know, was at fish&co. too.

we actually ate there after the movies, but apple had to rush off t meet jason(choong) then left th 3 of us there. jeez they keep say i eat very slow. cause its like i took forever to finish my meal hahah!! but i spent like almost 30 bucks there o.o omg im gonna be broke soon! eh wait, i AM broke already =.=

still need t help michelle pay first, which is .. maybe i'll go t school tmr.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

hmm stayed up all night, playing, chatting and watching video. watched City of Ember till like almost 8am then started doing crap after the movie, like reading wikipedia lol!

damn hungry, went out in a half dazed blurry vision state and i dont know why i even jaywalked when i could just knock out any moment. but anyway, i bought big breakfast and am enjoying it right now, with some mild headaches from fatigue.

jeez. went t macs cause i wanted cheese burger, then almost there then i remember, its breakfast now.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

hmm .. its my lil sis' birthday!

coincidentally same as my dad, so happy birthday all (:
& shortie whose birthday also falls on 10th march (:




i forgot what i wanted to post about. its actually 4.54am on 11th march already hahah

Monday, March 9, 2009

it has been a long day, tiring, fun, whatever. so much, just, i dont fee like blogging about it now.








i'm sick of everything. i dont know why, i'm getting very annoyed by something i dont really know.
why does the heart has to be so complicated.
i want to talk to somebody right now, really badly, just anybody i would trust deeply.
no.
this is the world i hate.
apart from the disappearing wishes, apart from the unforgettable mistakes,
i hate all those typical humans.
i want someone to listen to me, just right now, for this little moment
i want someone to be here, to hear just some voice
is that too much to ask?
5 minutes off from work, 5 minutes without talking on phone with someone else, 5 minutes off a game, 5 minutes off a period of slack.
that is too much to ask is it.

burn a memory. again.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

at that point of time, i still have my wallet. jeez unlucky. on the struck of 12 midnight, i lost my wallet. and i was rushing for the last train still. jeez.


anyway whats lost is lost, even if i cry like no tomorrow, it will not return out of the blue.

so anyway, yesterday, 7th march 2009, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERWIN!!
i went t buy a double cheese burger meal for supper and i was on th phone with yiling and erwin, we sang th happy birthday song when i was at macs o.o so retarded la! so anyway, the conference call was to tease yiling cause i have .. COKE! and .. hahah!

then later in th day, going t work, met junyuan @ vivo, i was like nearly 30 mins late hahah. buy some stuff and unluckily the bus just went off, so we cab in, costing 8 bucks cause of the sentosa entrance thing, when i cabbed in with jinye, we somehow got pass without needing t pay for the entrance o.o LOL!

work, normal wedding dinner, 2 person to 3 table. jeez so many complain that my table need more drinks, like damn unlucky my table is furthest from bar area, and they keep want bear/wine whatever (drunk person alert) and its .. damn troublesome! so anyway, quite okay la, had my share of joy teasing Charlene(aka JiaSheng's Friend :) hahahah!! its like .. "heyhey jiasheng's friend!!", "*acting like jason* why your skirt so short ar" andand
me: "i think your table damn happy sia"
her: "why?"
me: "cause got sexy waitress in miniskirt"
lol!! its cause her skirt somehow keeps going up or something and she needs t pull down, but the actual fact is that either her skirt is originally short or that her butt is too big and forced the waist line thingy to go up. yeah. HAHAH then aft work @ th security checkpoint there ..
me: "hey jiasheng's friend, not changing"
her: "later la, collect pay first" shes like next in the que lol
me: "you just wanna wear your mini skirt only"
her: "what! no lor!"
her: "you're very annoyingggggggggggg"
me: "thank you" (:

hahahahahahahahhahahahah! then later junyuan ask whats "Her" name, and pointed towards her and friend, then i shouted
me: "sherlene, charlene, sherylene, ah whatever JIASHENG'S FRIEND!!"
her :"WHATT?"
me: "sorry la i cant remember your name la!"
shuhui(the friend): "her name is charlene"
me: "junyuan, her name is charlene"
junyuan: "not her, her!" *points to shuhui*
shuhui: "oh my name is shuhui"

but seriously now i still dont get her name, charlene or whatever, JIASHENG'S FRIEND!! (:




oh and i must thank SBS Transport! its 6:30am in the morning now, i sidetrack so much .. hahah! anyway at 6:14am, i recieved a call, i left my phone in Outdoots mode, SUPER loud, and OMG WTF?! then th guy said that someone found my wallet and passed it t th person at Boon Keng station, OMG IS THIS REALLY SINGAPORE?! unbelievable. shocking. MIRACULOUS!

miracles do happen?



hmm.. if finding a person pretty equals to eye candy, omg i eye candy A LOT of girls! i think CuiDe is pretty (: i think jinye is pretty, i think .. Caroli, ahHuay, JiaSheng's Friend, Michelle Lee/Teo, ZhaoLin, Kandis, Fion, Peijun, SzeHan, Simin, ChianYi, JiaYi, AdelynYeo, Kim, Beverly, Joanna, Grace, Jess, Shihui, Eileen, Van are pretty (: seriously trying t remember faces at this kinda time, 6.40am, is hard =.=" but seriously i have a LOT of eyecandies eh ? cool! i think i have way more than mentionsed lor hahah.
and hmm..
twin and *a certain person i will not rename* are beautiful in a way eyes cannot see (:


i post alot (:

Thursday, March 5, 2009

im having a headache right now, not feeing good.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Zetten chalet! totally awesome but tiring!!

day1:
met szehan, weiguang, junyuan & liwen @ pasir ris before going over, then we played some dumb card games t kill time. later at night we ordered macs which took like forever to come hahah. junyuan and i sent szehan t th bus stop at changi village after dinner, damn there was a subway there. then next up, i tried watching movie but zhaolin keep say its too noisy t watch, and dont know who came up with the OCH idea, omg so exciting. went there with nexo but kinda boring, cause nothing happened. came back and played drinking game, but went out of liquor so fast .. anw irving got seriously drunk and its omg crazy. he forced us t learn cheer @ 3am in th morning o.o and he's like .. weird weird lol. anw after he was doing dontknowwhat, i went t changi village with aaron, rayna and xiaobai t buy some food, brought back 9 packets of nasi lemak o.o! and its like eating at 5am hahah. later tried sleeping, like no space coz junyuan occupy th entire bed =.= then later i found out that th other bed is vacant coz zhaolin wanted it, then jump! hahah anw its worse later, both zhaolin and junyuan occupy so much space =.= then its like sleeping between them, occupying like 1/4 of the bed and sleeping above the little gap =.= plus its so cold! cause zhaolin took th only blanket and .. crap. but its funny, coz she sleep is cover all th way then cap cover face then door must close lol.

day2:
woke up at like 3+ 4 or so then erm .. bored and played mini mahjong then later go help out with th bbq, starting th fire like .. jeez. anw its like i roast marshmallows more than anything else hahah. then they wanted t go OCH, 1am fall in, but in th end we were playing drinking game and stuff, interupted halfway through. seriously bored and went t play warcraft on jason's laptop until i forgot what they wanna do. later we watched Saw V on weiguang's laptop, while th rest of them play dunno what game outside. anw the movie is so boring =.= its confusing, hard t tell whats what and the most some gory scenes only. played mahjong after we watch, its like my first time playing so much mahjong! geraldine is a crazy player! andand i have super beginners' luck (: ohoh and before that, twin gave me th laugh of a lifetime! she drew the winning tile (zhi muo!!) and diddnt noticed and threw the tile, then i froze there .. and then i ask her what she just did, then she froze there .. then OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! omg lol!! first time something like that happened! okay, next turn we had t discard a tile, threw 2 and left 1 there, then later someone discard another winning tile and she diddnt notice, then next turn she drew 2, if discard th right tile, she would have won again, then later omg drew the winning tile again, this time she kept it, it was so funny!!!!!!!!! omgomg twin you gave me the greatest laugh!!

lets count this as day 3:
we played mahjong till like 5am then they said that eugene got wasted, grace too, then its like omg we wanna see!! oh and that was after my beginners' luck of zhi muo twice with 4 tais in both round + im the dealer o.o hahahh!! geraldine was going WTF?????! hahahah! anw after that we were like checking the rest. eugene totally flat, they carried him t th bed then later grace and i go check on him and just nice he puked o.o omg. anw alter on grace puked alot out too! its like i was standing infront while dany hold her and omg. she felt so bad, apologizing in her half conscious state and trying her best t stay awake and stuff. cleaning up her vomit while bern help clean her up, i think its cause of watching Saw V that i diddnt even feel disgusted at all. jeez taking care of her, kinda weird. later take cab was like, wanted t get off and send her back then jeez my bag and all th stuff got tangled up =.=" so i went t bedok interchange instead.

omg so tired, slept till like 8pm lol. was fun (: i dont think something like this could happen in any other chalet hahah!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

flu + 3hrs of sleep + whole day of otcw refresh + loads of shitty stuff.
its time i'd ask myself why am i doing all these.
my shit eyes have some shit problems where it just hurts so irritatingly from the inside.
alot of things to blog about,
but im just too ************************** tired.